The End, the Beginning, or the Middle?

The last of the laundry from this summer's JBU groups is done.
I'm really excited - a load takes over 3 hours between washing and drying.

In preparation for next year's staff - two great couples, the Goldfain's and the Beckman's, and my great housemate this year, John Lenschow - arriving at Lakeside over the next four weeks, I moved out of my room and into one of the guest's rooms. I move from this being my home to a place of transition. I leave in six weeks (hard to believe that I've been here for nearly a year!) and between now and then there's a lot that will happen - much of it for the last time.

Tonight I'm getting together with a group of friends from Queen's. While I'm guessing we'll get together as a group again before I leave, members of the group start leaving this week to head to jobs and graduate programs in the US. I'm still not feeling great (I've been down with a cold or flu since last Fri), but I'm going to dose up on medicine and my goal is to try to be there for an hour before I'm completely worn out. By far, this group has been one of the best things that's happened to me this year!

Having grown up as a missionary kid, attended a missionary school in Kenya, been a part of a mega-church in Little Rock, and gone to a Christian university, my life has been lived around evangelical Christians - whether simply cultural Christians or those who really do know the joy of life in Christ. Within minutes of stepping off the plane last September, I met three amazing people that have been wonderful friends this year: Megan, Jude, and Melissa. They come from really different backgrounds, with sometimes very different perspectives on life. Their experiences in life, their passions, their knowledge, and their beliefs have helped me grow in huge ways this year. They've stretched me to think about what I believe, what I know, and how I understand the world. They haven't always changed my mind, but I'd like to think that, through it all, we've sharpened one another.

Through them, and the beginnings of a four-person weekly dinner, the group grew into nearly 20 people who have been an absolute blast! I've made great friends from Vancouver, Seattle, San Francisco, Pheonix, Missouri, Magrefalt, Dublin, Belfast, etc.. We all see the world in different ways and understand religion and belief from a variety of perspectives and backgrounds. Through several of them, I was introduced to the joys of the Catholic church and the many there who love Jesus, Scripture, and God's heart for the world.

So, tonight, in many ways, is the last time we all have the chance to be together, as people leave. It begins a season of lasts, at least for the time being, for me. I'll turn in my last paper (my dissertation) to the history office four weeks from today. I rented what will probably be my last rental car here and showed friends around the North Coast for the last time this past week. I just finished the final loads of laundry for Lakeside. Here in four weeks, or so, I'll worship for the last time, for now, with the wonderful church family at Fisherwick - a family I've grown to love, who have welcomed me so warmly, and who I will deeply miss. In a few weeks, I'll go out for the last time with the S.O.S. Bus on a Friday night. I'll pay my last phone bill to Orange and order pizza delivery from Bella Italia for the last time.

This year has brought so much into my life. I am sad to see the end, but really, I'm more occupied with the wonders and the richness that have been a part of this year. The writer of Eccliasastes points out, rightly I think, that our life comes in seasons. This year was never meant to go on forever, but I'm deeply thankful that it's been part of my life. C.S. Lewis, in Peralandra, which I'm reading now, comments that an experience is wonderful because it's not common. This year has been anything but common and it has been wonderful.

This morning I posted on my Facebook status that moving rooms today meant the beginning of the end. In several ways that's true. It's one of the first events, with a number to follow, that mark the end of my year here in Ireland. A year I never expected 14 months ago would happen.

A wonderful friend, who's really more of a brother, Justin, pointed out that maybe it's really just the end of the beginning. Knowing Justin, I had to laugh at his quip, but there's truth to it. In many ways, this year marks the end of over 20 years of schooling. Sure, I hope to go on to a PhD, but that's really all that's left. The beginning of my life was characterized by institutional education. This marks the beginning of a lifetime of learning primarily in non-institutional forms.

After Justin, Dr. Robbie Castleman, one of my professor's at JBU who has deeply impacted, in awesome ways, my life, wrote that maybe this is 'somewhere in the middle of that which you know not at this time.' Probably in more ways then either of the previous two, her comment is true. I don't really believe life is what we make it or that we're simply on a predetermined course - that fate somehow has dictated the steps of our life. I think both extreme do not do justice to the experience of our lives. I would say that life is somewhere in the middle, in the tension of the two - that they hold each other in check. That we have the ability to make decisions in our lives, but our influence only goes so far. There's someone far greater than any of us, who's acting and moving at the same time. And it's my choice to follow in step with His movements, His lead, and His direction - but He'll never force me to. I'm not stuck in fate's predetermined track, nor am I left up to my own to make my way in this world.

And so it's somewhere in the middle of eternity that this year finds itself. For you see, I always existed in the mind of God and I will exist for eternity. So, this year - this wonderful, stretching, growing, life-changing, enriching year - comes as part of that story. In following Him, this year plays a part in what He has planned for me. Like everyone, I have the choice to follow Him.

However, after 26 years of incredible adventures, people, and experiences, I don't plan to ever stop following. I celebrated my birthday last week - as friends reminded me, if I was a fish, I would have been flushed down the toilet long ago :-) - and, perhaps more so then ever, this year in Northern Ireland and this year's birthday celebration have both solidified my commitment to follow Him - it's been one heck of a ride and I think the best is yet to come.